Title: Conan the Barbarian (sans ArnoldStarring: Jason Momoa (you may remember him from Stargate Atlantis as Ronon Dex), Ron Pearlman (of course), Stephen Lang, Rose McGowan (Pam from Death Proof), Leo Howard (As young Conan), Rachel Nichols (Yes, that Rachel Nichols, Scarlett in GI Joe).
Blurb:
The tale of Conan the Cimmerian and his adventures across the continent of Hyboria on a quest to avenge the murder of his father and the slaughter of his village.
My Review: So for months, I've been flailing and drooling over the commercials and finally the day came where I was going to see Conan with someone or alone - I didn't care which. I mean damn, look how find Jason Momoa is. I mean he was hot before but *Drool* Anyways, so I spent three hours at the movie theatre going into stores I shouldn't because I spend way too much in them but I blame the best friend. She left me there for that long to my own devices *smirks* but after buy Mathew Morrison's CD and a book, I headed to the theatre and sat there for a bit, hardly waiting patiently for my movie to begin. Now I know a lot of people think this movie is bad but I don't think it was. The story could use a tad bit of tightening but that's not the kind of movie it is. It's not a 'story' movie. It's a warrior, blood flying in 3D, heads rolling, ass getting kicked, take no prisoner kind of movie.
It's the kind of movie where you go to with your buddies you watch, get pumped and then go have a few beers. But anyways, from the beginning of this movie, if you've never read or watched Conan before, you'd be thinking "omfg this kid is screwed!" But it left you with a feeling that you have to see it through just so the bad guys could get their heads smashed open. I wasn't disappointed with this movie like some others because as I said repeatedly before, I take movies for what they are. This movie was entertaining in AVX 3D. It was loud, gritty, funny, sexy and some part creepy. But if you were going in looking for a remake of Arnold's Conan, spend your money somewhere else because you're not going to get that. You're going to get a fresh, new take on a classic.
The action scenes were epic--the horses beautiful, the bad guys SERIOUSLY twisted. And for his first major motion picture, Jason was breath-taking both physically and acting wise. His Conan was always ready for battle. He looks happiest when he's testing his skills and prowess.
Now on a personal level, as a romance author, I have to look at this movie in another light. There were times when I was biting my finger thinking "I could do THINGS to this man!" My best friend even coined a new word. After the sex scene she leant over and whispered "Dude! She got Conan-ed!" I had to give her a fist bump for that one! But the love scene was sexy, hot, smouldering...don't take your kids to see this movie btw.
They didn't massacre remake like I know they will be doing to Dirty Dancing and Footloose. So go with your boys...or a bunch of girls can check it out together too. And keep an open mind. It's a fun movie if you don't go in with a pickle up your ass.
My favorite lines:
Conan: "You look like a harlot."
Conan: "When a Barbarian feels thirst, its a thirst for blood!"
Conan: "Run from me, and I will follow you to hell!"
Bad guy: "My nose!"
Bad guy - "You said you would spear my life!"
Conan - "No, I said I wouldn't kill you."
Hugs,
Kato
