Trailer of the Month

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Holidays in Handcuffs

Melissa Joan Hart in "Holidays in Handcuffs"
 Title: Holiday in Handcuffs
Starring: Melissa Joan Hart, Mario Lopez, Timothy Bottoms, Gabrielle Miller
Story: A struggling artist working as waitress kidnaps one of her customers to bring home and meet her parents at Christmas.

My Review:
To all my friends who know I often time joke about clubbering a hottie over the head and dragging him by his feet into my car to carry home and tied to my...wait .... *looks around innocently* carry him home for dinner...yes....dinner...well it happened in this movie!!! so see? I'm not crazy *grins*

This movie was made for TV and starred Melissa Joan Hart (Sabrina the Teenager Witch) and Mario Lopez so I didn't expect anything fancy when I went in. But to be really honest, it wasn't all that bad for a made for tv christmas movie. It was hilarious! Gabrielle Miller (Corner Gas) played the role of the spoil brat really well too!! I know it's cold outside and most people don't feel like smiling but if this movie is on, watch it. Melissa Joan Hart was back to her usual, perky self playing the Gertrude, the lawyer rebelling against the system and becoming a failed artist working as a waitress and Mario Lopez had no trouble at all playing the delicious customer that Melissa kidnaps to pretend to be her boyfriend!  I mean David Martin (Mario's character) had no idea what hit him!

HA! I made a pun funny!

Yes, it is a Christmas movie and a romantic comedy but I quite enjoyed it. I wouldn't recommend you go out and buy the thing, but if you can watch it for free, then do it! It's worth it.


Sunday, November 28, 2010


Starring: Dwayne Johnson, Moon Bloodgood, Billy Bob Thorton

An ex-con sets out to avenge his brother's death after they were double-crossed during a heist years ago. During his campaign, however, he's tracked by a veteran cop and an egocentric hit man.

My Review:
So I've been working like a slave lately, no time off, no time to go out, no time to do anything fun and finally I decided I was going to TAKE some time for me. So, I took a sunday night, and I went to the mall, picked up couple of CDs that I just may review on here, who knows? and ate dinner at Moxies then saw FASTER for free with my scene card (woot!). So enough about me lol, let's talk FASTER.

Oh wow. Ok, where to start. There is no spoiler alert on this because I, well, it's a new movie and I dont want to give anything away! It's worth it believe me. There was high speed chase, subtle jokes that you don't see coming and when they hit, the whole theatre was cracking up.  Now let's see, pit a drug addicted cop, up against an unseen man afraid of death, am ex-cop out to get the bastards that slaughtered his brother up against a crazy assassin and you get trouble--always trouble!

I didn't like the fact that they didn't give Dwayne more lines but, those he did have, he delivered them.  Though he was the star, the part was written so he didn't have to say much. Everything he said was in his face, the way he carried his body, the looks in his eyes--people may think acting is just saying words, it's not. I was once told by a drama teacher that on stage, you have to sell everything with your body but on camera you have to sell everything with your face.  

I also didn't like that the writer didn't take time to name the characters. Dwayne's character was "Driver" Billy Bob's was "Cop" and the hitman guess it! "Killer." I made sense but it was a little impersonal that way, you know?

The hitman in this movie, well what I can I say about him--he's nuts! He's sexy, drives nice cars, wealthy and out of his damn mind! I think his character was one of the best written. Just goes to show you, we can all do crazy.FASTER was full of twists and turns and morbid ironies that though sad made you laugh out loud. The camera angles were amazing and the cars---All I can say is hot damn those cars!! 

Anyways, the storyline was plausible and I went expecting not a piece of art but an action movie with shit blowing up and heads being blown away. But Mr. Johnson surprised the hell out of me. He managed to portray emotions with his body, face, ever move of his head and guess what????? He didn't do the eyebrow thing once!!!! It was awesome. So fellas, this movie is amazing because it has action, blood, guts, strippers...and ladies, it has the Rock...come on...

But in all seriousness, this movie will NOT be a waste of time to see. I thoroughly enjoyed and I didn't nod off once!! oh and when you see who the bad guy're gonna be like "How the fuck did that happen!!

In the mean time the trailer of the month is up top.



Monday, November 8, 2010

Shawshank Redemption

Title: Shawshank Redemption
Director: Frank Darabont
Starring: Morgan Freeman, Tim Robbins

Andy Dufresne is a young and successful banker whose life changes drastically when he is convicted and sentenced to life imprisonment for the murder of his wife and her lover. Set in the 1940's, the film shows how Andy, with the help of his friend Red, the prison entrepreneur, turns out to be a most unconventional prisoner.

My Review
I have to admit—I am a sucker for a movie with the word “Redemption” in the title and while I was never a Tim Robbins fan before this movie, once again,  I confess to be hooked after this movie.

This movie shows that decent people can be pushed to do horrid things. But on that same breath, people can change—that sometimes, all a person need to change for the better or the worse is one simple action from someone else.

Tim Robbins in this movie as Andy is magical.  His character is patient and true. He play the role of a man losing everything, even his mind with such precise perfect that he left me wondering, hoping. 

Morgan Freeman was magnificent.   Though it’s the same voice he acts in, he shows what happens when people turn around and face their situations.  Red (Morgan’s character), has a certain ease and charm about him that I did not expect.

Together, both men were out of this world. They form a bond that I adore in movies—a friendship that is true and flawed in so many ways. But in the end, they had each other’s backs and that was all that counts.

The storyline was amazing—the idea brilliant. The execution, the acting, the costumes—every thing about Shawshank Redemption is absolutely, perfect.  Bored? Looking for a movie that will entertain and teach you something? Watch this one!


Saturday, November 6, 2010

Ba'al - Storm of God

Title: Ba'al
Director: Paul Ziller
Starring: Jeremy London, Stephanie Von Pfetten (probably spelt that wrong), Scott Hylands, Lexa Diog.

A terminally ill archaeologist attempts to cure his cancer by retrieving the ancient amulets of the storm god Ba'al.

My Review:
Bad CGI! Bad CGI! Bad CGI! OMG! Ok, Canadians make some of the BEST movies these days with kick ass CGI. I mean Canadians worked on Avatar and Titanic--though I hated both those movies for different reason, the graphics kicks ass. But once again our government doesn't support Canadian funded arts so what can you do.  Anyways, the story line about Ba'al and the artifacts was a great idea--a different way to use Earth, Air, Fire and water to plunge the earth into the path of some evil hell bent on destroying all man kind.

I mean every time I watch a movie like this I wonder, "why is it humans would read that this thing Ba'al had his powers taken away by his own father, split into four amulets and hidden and they would still go out of their way to dig shit up?" I mean, if his own father couldn't destroy his power and hid it as best he could, what make they think they can revive him and something bad not happen? Anyways, logic aside, Lexa Diog reprises the same kind of role she's always done--except for taking over from that guy in the ING commercials--. She plays an stoic, almost robotic Weather doctor who thinks the cause of the storm was some baltic belt or something like that and though blowing it to hades, would solve her problem...sounds like the Andromeada doesn't it? Anyways, she is in it--same old same old. Jeremy London is in it but nothing too memorable. The ending was like they were trying to end the movie as fast as they could...*sigh*

Ok run down--the movie idea was amazing! I always love seeing the different ways people can write the earth's almost destruction--oh before I forgot, one of these artifacts landed in Utah...Yeah you heard me...I said Utah! Can you believe that??? Of all the places in the world it just HAD to land in Utah! And the stupid thing about it all, was that two of the artifacts landed in the United States!! Then, the military men were wearing the WRONG uniform! They were American military wearing Canadian uniforms--it was a hot mess in some places. Someone needed to do more research!

Anyways, back to rundown. The movie idea was great but the script, execution and casting leads little to be desired. The explantions they give to know where the next artifact is was almost laughable... If Jeremy London was looking for this movie to revive his career, well he kinda chose the wrong script. This movie was made for TV and now I see why. It was barely passable.  Someone else should get their hands on this script, do some overhauling and better casting and you'd get a kick ass movie...but the way it sits right now, if I'd paid to see it I'd be a little upset...


Thursday, November 4, 2010


Title:  P.S I Love You
Director: Richard LaGravenese
Starring: Gerard Butler, Hilary Swank, James Masters, Jeffery Dean Morgan, Lisa Kudrow, Kathry Bates, Gina Gershon, Harry Connick Jr.

A young widow discovers that her late husband has left her 10 messages intended to help ease her pain and start a new life.

My Review:
Now, normally I don't watch this kinda stuff. because I CAN'T stand romantic comedies. They are so fruffy. But after watching "Leap Year" (review in October) and liking it, I figured, why not watch this one. I've been meaning to do so but kept on seeing things that annoyed me in the commercials.  Finally I was trapped, in the house, on a rainy day and after searching through all the damn channels we pay an arm and a leg for every month, I couldn't find anything else worth watching so I did.

*sigh* ok...This story had promise. It started out amazingly! I mean it started out that I fell for Gerard's character and Hillary's and it went from there. The comedy in this movie was on point and clever and had me laughing.  But where the story took on a strange, horrible twist is as the movie drew closer to the end, it was like the writer got bored of writing it so he just found the most horrible way to end all the little open stories in the movie. It was like they casted too many big names and didn't know what to do with them.

Now how do I explain it without giving it away? Ok here goes...So Holly (Hilary's character), her husband Gerry (played by the always sexy Gerard Butler) died and before he died he left a recording and letters for Hilary so she would slowly get over his death, right? Ok got that part...After he dies she's a mess but Daniel (Harry Connick Jr.) is in LOVE with her and tries everything he knows of to prove it to her. But then the writer, getting bored, decided he was going to let Daniel simply give up. I mean I get that but damn! He's been through hell trying to get this woman, she even called him by her dead husband's name!! So anyways I should stop there because I am going to give it away if I do but the ending made the whole movie a giant waste of my time. I should have known to watch it for a while but it seems I am one of them hard learners.  Moving on, then when she got the final letter, I should have stopped watching. The rest was just a killer for the whole deal.

Oh and I cannot end without saying, it was GREAT not seeing Kathy busting some knee caps (If you guys don't know what that is in reference to, I shall now shake my head and say tsk tsk, rather haughtily). Her performance as Holly's mother was heart felt and endearing...Oh and James Masters was great too--it was good to see him as a man rather some blood starve vampire....

Gerard Butler could use his accent in this movie--speaking with a rather delicious irish brogue that made my mouth water. Though he was in the first few minutes of the movie and died--duh!--he popped in from time to time in memories or as his voice narrated his letters to Holly.  And each time he did, you simply had to smile and say "awwww" because it was the most romantic ways--to hold her hand, to rest his head on her shoulder, to spoon with her in bed.....

So what did I really think of P.S I Love You?  It's a great movie if you don't watch the ending. If you do watch it to the end, you're probaly going to be left thinking "what the heck? I gave up an hour and a half of my life for that?"

It's up to you...but other than the end, its a wonderful peice.


Wednesday, November 3, 2010


**spoiler alert**

Director:  John Luessenhop
Starring: Chris Brown, T.I, Paul Walker, Hayden Christensen, Idris Alba, Michael Ealy, Matt Dillon, Jay Hernandez (the dude from Hostel)

Story:  A seasoned team of bank robbers, including Gordon Jennings (Idris Elba), John Rahway (Paul Walker), A.J. (Hayden Christensen), and brothers Jake (Michael Ealy) and Jesse Attica (Chris Brown) successfully complete their latest heist and lead a life of luxury while planning their next job. When Ghost (Tip T.I. Harris), a former member of their team, is released from prison he convinces the group to strike an armored car carrying $20 million. As the "takers" carefully plot out their strategy and draw nearer to exacting the grand heist, a reckless police officer (Matt Dillon) inches closer to apprehending the criminals.

My Review:
So, I was on a roll that month when this movie came out. I mean, I was smiling more, grinning more, loving more….then someone suggested we see Takers and I thought, why not? It has Chris Brown in it and I ADORE Idris Alba and Paul Walker…and T.I…so why not? Now, let me preface the whole dealie by saying that I knew this movie wouldn’t be perfect. It wouldn't be the greatest movie of all time…I reserve that slot for Citizen Kane, but I expected a better movie.

It started out great—narration and all. Everything was perfect until close to the end of the movie.  Before I get there I have to say that at the beginning you start to love all the guys because they don’t want to hurt anyone they just want the money, right? The dialogue was snappy, the suits were sexy and life was good. Hell, even TI was doing his damn thang! *grins*

Then it rolled around to the halfway mark and the movie suddenly turned into a mixture of a horrible rendition of a bad soap opera and the Godfather mix and I just about hurled.  I never saw a movie lose it so fast so far in before.  It was like a runaway train, going down hill, without breaks, being driven by a blind man!

 First the cop that did something bad at the beginning of the movie, is NOT the dirty cop, which I have to admit was a pretty good twist but that was about it.  Turns out one of the guys have a weakness, his sister who’s a crack addict played by that woman from Without a Trace…Marianne Jean-Baptiste—which by the way is SO out of script. I mean, she popped up out of nowhere which left me thinking—erm…what?  

Their little planning sessions for their jobs were loud with them all bickering at each other…I mean who plans a robbery in the VIP section of a club? There was no order to anything--the whole movie was one big chaos with no meaning.

And why was Zoe Zaldana in this movie? Her role was so pointless I wanted to reach out and pimp slap her.
Then at one point, the cops were shooting at the ‘good’ guys, the good guy’s were shooting at the cops and the bad guys everyone was shooting at everyone else. By the end I was left scratching my head asking “what in the hell?”

Then the ending is what really made me say this is a horrible movie—this was advertised as a revenge movie but damned if I saw the revenge in it. In the end when the smoke cleared, we’re not certain if TI is dead or just hurt and heading back to jail, two of the robbers were left on the run and life seem to be a bitch for all of them. I mean revenge movies are supposed to end with the person wronged getting his or her revenge…

The script had screw ups that a real cop would never do (like take his kid on a stake out of dangerous robbers suspected of murdering people). It dragged after the mid way point so bad I was sitting there, looking over at my best friend saying “really—seriously?” I was so disappointed….

Anyways, if you’re looking for a revenge movie, go watch something else, this sure as hell isn’t it.


Saturday, October 16, 2010

The Expendables

Title: The Expendables
Starring: Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Mickey Rourke, Steven Austin, Randy Couture, Dolph Lundgren, Eric Roberts, Terry Crews

Director: Sylvester Stallone

Barney Ross leads the "Expendables", a band of highly skilled mercenaries including knife enthusiast Lee Christmas, martial arts expert Yin Yang, heavy weapons specialist Hale Caesar, demolitionist Toll Road and loose-cannon sniper Gunner Jensen. When the group is commissioned by the mysterious Mr. Church to assassinate the merciless dictator of a small South American island, Barney and Lee head to the remote locale to scout out their opposition. Once there, they meet with local rebel Sandra and discover the true nature of the conflict engulfing the city. When they escape the island and Sandra stays behind, Ross must choose to either walk away and save his own life - or attempt a suicidal rescue mission that might just save his soul.

My Review:
Well, this is called a 'totally biased' reviews, so I don't know if this will be biased or not but this movie is AWESOME! Think Rambo meets xXx meets some awesome comedy show--I mean everything that could blow up, blew up! All the heads that could be busted open, got busted open! It was one kick ass movie. And the other thing that made this movie kick some serious ass? Jason Statham and Sly's relationship on screen. They had a certain chemistry that is amazing! They got along, they had each other's backs.

And even though this movie is action, it was hilarious! Jet Li was funny as hell and the truth be told, I did not expect him to have such wonderful comedic timing.  Randy Couture surprised the hell out of me. I did not expect him to know what he was doing. But he proved me so wrong.

 Sly went all out with this one. He used each actor's skills and talents to his advantage to contribute to the authencity of this movie.  He used Randy's and Steve's wrestling and boxing skills.

This movie is a feel good, kick ass piece of work. I enjoyed it thoroughly and you just might too!


Monday, October 4, 2010

Leap Year

Title: Leap Year
Director: Anand Tucker
Starring: Amy Adams, Mathew Goode (not THAT Matt Goode), John Lithgow, Adam Scott,

A woman who has an elaborate scheme to propose to her boyfriend on Leap Day, an Irish tradition which occurs every time the date February 29 rolls around, faces a major setback when bad weather threatens to derail her planned trip to Dublin. With the help of an innkeeper, however, her cross-country odyssey just might result in her getting engaged.

My Review:
Wow, so romantic comedies are NOT my thing and I tend to go out of my way NOT to watch them, but I have to admit, this movie was a riot! It's about what happens when a spoil (ish), high society type, Anna (played by Amy Adams) decides to take off, on a whim to Ireland to propose to her boyfriend Jeremy (a total ass-tard btw) (played by Adam Scott) without any plans.  She simply let her father's story about the Irish tradition of women proposing to men on leap years to heart, after years, and thought she was going to fight for her man.  Then she meets Declan (played by Mathew Goode) who's the definition of rougishly handsome and hilariously annoying! Declan is everything Jeremy isn't. I mean, Declan cooks, he drives himself, he swigs real beer and he isn't afraid to get his hands dirty!! What's not to like?

So anyways, hilarity ensues when she gets to Ireland and finds out that she has to find her way from this LITTLE town to where Jeremy is.  First she kills the light in the whole little village because she decided to plug her dying phone into a wall socket!! I couldn't stop laughing. All the light in this village simply went out leaving the place in darkness. I fell out of my seat I was laughing so hard! Then she starts falling for Declan and to make it worse, she saw him in all his beautiful, Irish brogue, Declan glory...aka naked!

Give me a moment.....*droool...* ok Moment over!

Even though I adored this flick, I have to say that at one point though I did feel like shoving the chick (Anna) off a cliff because she got a tad annoying after about forty five minutes into the movie. I mean she does everything in her power to push Declin away and then when he finally leaves, somehow it was his fault! I hate stupid people and after a while I just wanted to smack her and yell "chica! Open your eyes! Your dream man is RIGHT THERE!" but it wouldn't be a good movie without that feeling, right?

The people in the small town added to the richness of the story and moved it along quite well. They didn't rush the story and it felt as though the writer, did his/her research when working on it.  The beautiful, lush Irish countryside was showcased wonderfully with it's charming (not all the time) people.

Anyways, overall, I never thought LEAP YEAR would be any good, but I love all things Irish. This movie was a breath of fresh air from all the other crappy romantic comedies my best friend forced me to watch over the years. I won't promise I'll make it my regular thing, but once in a while, I just might give in again.


Friday, October 1, 2010

Rambo - The 2008 one

Title:  Rambo
Starring: Sylvester Stallone, Julie Benz, Tim Kang

Vietnam veteran John Rambo has survived many harrowing ordeals in his lifetime and has since withdrawn into a simple and secluded existence in Thailand, where he spends his time capturing snakes for local entertainers, and chauffeuring locals in his old PT boat. Even though he is looking to avoid trouble, trouble has a way of finding him: a group of Christian human rights missionaries, led by Michael Burnett and Sarah Miller, approach Rambo with the desire to rent his boat to travel up the river to Burma. For over fifty years, Burma has been a war zone. The Karen people of the region, who consist of peasants and farmers, have endured brutally oppressive rule from the murderous Burmese military and have been struggling for survival every single day. After some inner contemplation, Rambo accepts the offer and takes Michael, Sarah, and the rest of the missionaries up the river. When the missionaries finally arrive at the Karen village..

My Review:
Well I have always been a fan of Sly Stallone. I mean I grew up in Jamaica on him, Bruce Lee and Arnold.  When it comes to the Rambo franchise, I have to admit when I heard he was doing another, my first thought was "holy crap not again!" Some franchises should just be left alone--they should just let it burn, let it go, get out while they're ahead and after watching this movie, I still think they should have left well enough alone.  Sure it was great to see Sly as Rambo again--it was amazing to see him kick some ass but enough is enough.  I am tired of him not getting the girl in the end--its kinda pointless in that respects. 

The storyline could have used a tad more tightening but everything that could be shot, blown up, beheaded, stabbed, was. It was a gory movie that started out with genocide.  The movie itself is pretty good...pretty standard for Rambo.  As the movie drew to a close, Rambo once again found himself at the helm of one of those guns that fires like a million rounds, completely wiping out all the bad guys leaving all the good guys safe and sound--a little bloody from the ordeal but Rambo--the amazing shot that he is, always manages to only kill the baddies.

Sly's acting was okay, the other people in this movie drove me nuts sometimes. They were annoying as hell. Oh and that guy...from The Mentalist--what's his name...the guy who's the serious cop...Tim Kang was in it playing a mercenary name En Joo. He was buff, bearded and oh so delicious.  *stops to purr at the memory* If that doesn't drag your memory, think of the character KOH from THE OFFICE.

Predictable, but worth it. If you want to have a boy's night in and the game isn't on, I wouldn't hold it against you if you picked up this one.


Thursday, September 16, 2010


Title: Machete
Starring:  Danny Trejo, Steven Seagal, Jessica Alba, Michelle Rodreguez, Robert Di Nero, Cheech Marin, Don Johnson, Lindsay Lohan
Director: Robert Rodriguez

The highly skilled Federale Machete is hired by some unsavory types to assassinate a senator. But just as he's about to take the shot, he notices someone aiming at him and realizes he's been set up. He barely survives the sniper's bullet, and is soon out for revenge on his former employers, with the reluctant assistance of his old friend Cheech Marin, who has become a priest and taken a vow of nonviolence.

If you hire him to take out the bad guys, make sure the bad guys aren't you!

My Review:
Before I go any further, I have to tell you, this movie is NOT for anyone below 18 or with the I.Q of a knat. If you are of the faint of heart variety, go watch Kung Fu Panda because this is not a movie you want. This movie has blood, guts, gore, stuff exploding, nudity, cell phones in strange places--you name it, it has it. With my disclaimer goes.

So of course I got talked into seeing this one by the ex-boyfriend--well not completely all his fault. I mean Steven Seagal hasn't done a movie--a good movie in a while and though watching him in A Dangerous Man is cruel and unusual punishment, I figured I should go see Machete because I am in LOVE with Danny Trejo and Cheech Marin.  Then I found out Don Johnson was in it too and let's face it, the man hasn't done anything worth while since Nash Bridges.  But enough about why I saw this movie.

This movie, Machete, is amazing. Corny in some cases because it's sort of a spoof off some other movies from before my time but it also focusses on the stupidity happening in Arizona and the new immigration laws. It shows how dumb it is to basically treat Mexicans like second class citizens, as parasites. It shows how really stupid racism against Mexicans really is. I mean, if all the Mexicans should walk off the jobs, most states close to the Mexico/US border would practically shut down. I am not saying immigration laws aren't important. What I'm saying and I believe Machete is saying, is that you can't and shouldn't paint all Mexicans with the same brush. Not all of them are drug dealers or 'parasite' (as the commercials in the movie calls them). Most Mexicans go to the US to work so they can send money back to their starving families. That should be respected--anyways polictics out of the way...

Now this movie isn't perfect--of course not--it isn't Citizen Kane. There were moments when I had to lean over, nudge my ex-boyfriend and with an arched brow said, "erm...really? Was that TRULY necessary?"

Machete, works with Steven Seagal's really bad acting talents. He was actually funny and I could really see him as a bad guy.

Danny Trejo, amazing as a stoic, ex-Federalle out for revenge and not letting anyone or anything stand in his way. He's opportunistic, unselfish and amazing. His one liners are actually perfect for him. He says funny lines with a seriousness and a believability that simply rocks.

Cheech Marin--what can I say about Cheech--the man is an icon.

Overall, this movie was thrilling, heart wrenching, funny and simply a work of art.  Sure it wasn't perfect, but you probably won't find another movie like this one in a long time.  The soundtrack--if they ever release an album for it, I'd recommend buying it because I sure would.  If you're looking for some nudity, blood and gore, a little politics and a rather unhealthy dose of Cheech and Danny, go see this movie, you will not regret it. If you hate the above things, try seeing Cats and Dogs: The return of Kitty Galore, because Machete isn't for you.


Friday, September 10, 2010

A Dangerous Man

Title: A Dangerous Man
Starring: Steven Seagal, Jesse Hutch, Marianna Mah

After serving 6 years for a crime he didn't commit, Shane Daniels is released from jail with an apology from the State of Arizona. Within hours of his freedom, he unluckily bears witness to a cop killing by Chinese mafia who have a kidnapped girl and a bag of drugmoney

My Review:
OMG! Where can I start? How bad is this movie? Let me count the ways...

For years I keep holding on to that slim chance that Steven Seagal would pull his head out of his booty long enough to realise his movies stink these days and make a good movie. I mean look at Under Siege (The first one of course)--that movie was geee--niiiii--us! And since then, I keep watching his movies hoping, praying that they'd make a good one again and I keep getting let down. It seems I never learn. But anyways, let's talk about this one movie.

*breathes* ok.  First of all this movie started out with promise. I mean, Steven, wrongly accused of a crime and then new evidence pops up to prove he didn't do it. He spent six years in jail for it and okay that's understandable because sad but true--it happens all the time. Where it begins going down hill is when they offered him millions of dollars to get his life on track, he TURNS IT DOWN!

Let's put this in a better perspective; now you're in jail for six years, you have no money, no savings, no where to live and you turn down money to help you out? I mean sure, I get it that the money won't give him the six years of his life back--or give him back his wife who left him when he was in there but damn!

So anyways he gets released (unusually fast might I add) and the first thing he does is got a car (dont know how, or where for that matter), and went to buy some alcohol. Long story short, some punks tried to mess with him, he kicked their asses and life goes on.  Then he goes somewhere to drink, wallow in his sadness and sees a crime being commit. Knowing him, he helps and BAM! He falls right in the middle of some big kidnapping, Russian Mob, dirty cops, other kinds of mob... by the end of the movie it was so damn confusing. The cops were shooting at the Russians, the Russians were shooting at the cops, Steven Seagal was breaking heads and necks of Russians and dirty cops--by the end no one knows who the bad guys were.

The acting was horrible, the graphics was autrocious, the love scenes were disgusting--why disgusting? The chick Stevie boy was sexing looked young enough to be his daughter and I could have sworn I threw up a little in my mouth. The ending was completely wrong and hard to swallow--ha! I said swallow!!--*clears throat* anways...

Overall-- don't waste your time. If for some reason you have a couple of hours to burn and you're half asleep or hung over, read a book instead of watching this movie. I know, books aren't for everyone but you won't be killing brain cells. Or if you don't want to read a book, go watch the snow melt, or fry an egg on the sidewall, or pick your nose...ANYTHING but watch this movie...Trust me,  you'll thank me later.


Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Despicable Me

Movie: Despicable Me (In 3D)
Starring: Steve Carell, Jason Segell, Russell Brand, Julie Andrews, Will Arnett, Kristen Wing, Miranda Cosgrove, Dana Gaier and Elsie Fisher
Director: Pierre Coffin & Chris Renaud

Plot: When a criminal mastermind uses a trio of orphan girls as pawns for a grand scheme, he finds himself profoundly changed by the growing love between them.

My Review:
Firstly, this movie is good because it gives you a choice of whether you want to completely screw up your vision with 3D or not—it’s in two version, 3D and regular. I went for the vision impairment and saw it in 3D. You only live once, right? lol.

The thought of a lovable bad guy wasn’t one I liked very much going into this movie. Then I saw that Russell Brand was in this movie and I thought, “OMG! This can’t end well!” I mean Russell Brand in kids’ movie? This can only end in tears and lawsuits right? But no—it was actually a very good movie.

Gru is your typical bad guy out for world domination. I mean every thing he’s tried doing he’s always comes in second best! I mean someone just STOLE the great pyramids and it wasn’t Gru! Anything after that, well, all other bad guys get put to shame! To make matters worse, Gru’s mother calls him reminding him of his failures from her karate class.

The typical bad guys and their minions but in a light I’ve never seen before. Gru and his strange accent was brilliant on Steve Carell’s part. I found myself laughing so hard at times that after the movie I had tears streaming down my face.

Gru’s mortal nemesis, the cookie loving, Vector, was amazing! He always seems to have a bigger weapon but Vector isn’t very bright which made for a disastrously hilarious time. And Julie Andrews? Brilliant choice for Gru’s evil, mother. This woman was so evil even Gru was terrified of her.

Don’t worry about taking your kids to see it, Russell Brand behaved himself and your kids will love it—if the constantly kids laughing during my visit was any indication.


Tuesday, September 7, 2010

The Marksman


Title: The Marksman
Starring: Wesley Snipes, Emma Samms, William Hope

Chechen rebels take over a Russian nuclear plant and it's up to a mysterious agent(Snipes) to stop them.

My Review:
Ok, so this movie is about Wesley who plays--wait...they never did tell us his name in the movie...hrm--anyways they call him Painter which I will explain later.

First of all, this movie has nothing to do with a Marksman--Marksman basically means a sniper of sorts right? Sure he takes out a few bad guys with a rifle or some sort of long distance gun (who knows these things anyways) but he wasn't a sniper per say. Wesley Boy's job in the movie is what they call "Painting a target" Basically it is to go into the target in the dead of night or whenever, use some high tech gadgets to put a little orb looking thing on the target, activate it and get the hell out of dodge. The orb looking thing then sends a signal to a fighter jet near by. The jet do something of a drive by and fire missiles toward the signal, completely obliterating the target. With that said, here goes the review.

This movie is passingly ok. Wesley plays the strong, silent, totally scarred military man that no one likes--(what else is new?) that is until he's needed to go on some kind of suicide mission with a team of soldiers who thinks he's somewhat of a nut. Anyways he goes and shit begins hitting the fan. Nothing is what it seems and the bad guys have some how tricked the Americans into doing their dirty work.  Of course, Wesley is the smart cookie who first figure it out and realises "OMG I Painted the wrong target!"

So now he has to go back into the bad guy's camp and fix it.  The movie is a little slow at the beginning.  The intro alone confused the hell out of me because the intro credits looked like it was the intro credit to a movie about Biological warfare, or some sort of disease type story line. That alone made me arched a brow and go "hrm." 

The acting was stiff at best, but of course it's Wesley so I've come to expect nothing better. The other characters were a little better. The Marines that didn't really like his character much were like the typical Marines hollywood cooks up. They work together, play together and are loyal to anyone who proves they deserve it. They were lovable men with guns and I believed that.

But the movie was poorly written, too much information in too little time and whoever wrote this movie didn't get the memo about making characters' names prounouncable by people who don't speek the language.  There was a couple of recognizable faces in this movie but that didn't make it any better.

If you have some time to spare and you're bored--like guys, if you're waiting for your woman to figure out what she's going to wear that night and you have about an hour to spare, then give it a look see...It's actually okay--not a spectacular work of art but it's passable.


Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Liar Game: Season 1

Title: Liar Game Season 1
Starring: Toda Erika, Matsuda Shota, Kikuchi Rinko, Yuki Jutta, Takei Emi

**This Drama is not in English. If you wish to watch it, please look for it with English subtitles**

The naïve Kanzaki Nao and expert swindler Akiyama Shinichi have not heard anything from the LIAR GAME organization since the end of the previous game, so it seems they may have actually escaped. But Nao suddenly gets another invitation and is once again caught up in the game. This time, she has to team up with Shinichi and one of their previous rivals named Fukunaga, facing off against three more opponents in new games of deception, such as "24 Rensou Russian Roulette" and "17 Poker

My Review:

Now I know this isn't a movie, it isn't even in English but damn! I couldn't resist. So my friend Kari (love you boo boo!) got me addicted to Japanese/Korean dramas in Univeristy and I totally had to watch this one. This show puts Saw to shame. I mean, Saw used blood and gore and murders and all that to make a franchise but Liar Game? None of that. This Drama is for the intellectuals, for those of you who love a wonderful mind game. This series keeps you on your toes, keep you asking "OMG!What's next?"

This show is about what happens when the system doesn't work. It's all about why a person shouldn't play games with human emotions. When an old, creepy voice on a phone tries to control the human habits...Habits such as hate, greed, betrayal, love--This show teaches you that you cannot simply look at a person and tell what they would do. Humans are unpredictable, dangerous and completely able to change.